The Journey Begins

What a shitty title. Anyway. So my mommy called me and informed me that she had set us up an appointment to see Sgt. Rice (name has been changed, obvious reasons) at the recruiters office on Monday. "Fucking great" I thought to myself. I was angry, nervous, excited and fearful all at the same time. What will she be like? What happens next? Whatever. This was all about 3 days before the appointment was actually scheduled, so I had plenty of time to shit bricks and worry my ass off.

So Monday rolls around and my mom, sister and I all get into the shit wagon and motor down to the recruiters officer. We walk in and discover that there are 10 (ten) recruiters in this tiny room all with a desk and computer to their own. Wow, I guess the Army isnt really as hard pressed for recruits as they make it sound, or they just cant figure out what to do with these people. Anyway. We find Sgt. Rice among the crowd, a short, semi fat black lady. As soon as my ass hit that chair with "Army" stitched into the back of the seat, I had 10 recruiters breathing down my neck asking me what I wanted to be.

"Infantry" I said, sounding like a little girl seconds before a back alley rape. They all laughed, again with the light heartedness. All except for one who gave me a "Hooah". Obviously the Infantryman of the bunch. Everyone went back to their desks to do shit that had nothing to do with recruiting and Sgt. Rice got to work on me. Basically I went away that day with a shit load of packets and forms to be signed at home. Oh yeah, and I was to report to the National Guard armory in 2 days to take the ASVAB. Again, fucking great.

Sgt. Rice gave me a pamplet that had every job the Army had to offer. She told me to circle 10 jobs that looked interesting to me and come back after I had taken the ASVAB and she had received my scores. I sat down that night with that dumbass pamplet and my new "Army Strong" pen and circled 3 jobs. Infantryman, Explosives Ordnance Disposale, Combat Engineer. Great, 7 more to go. I ended up circling something else like M1 Crewman and then just circled Infantryman another 6 times. Whatever, theres no way I'm going to be a goddamn Radio Repairman or the other 39841 jobs they had that just replaced Radio with some other piece of equipment.

I was sort of pissed that I basically only had two days to study for the ASVAB. One if you count the fact that I didnt even study on one of the days. I ended up scoring a 53 for my AFQT. Yay I'm fucking retarded. The test actually wasnt all that difficult and from the way I understand it, a 53 means that I scored better than 53% of the people who took the test for the Department of WhatTheFuckEver back in 2004 or something like that. So I'm not that retarded after all, I guess. The part that really counts are the "line" scores which basically are just a bunch of different parts of the test that they divide up and put into categories like General Technical and Combat and Verbal Expressions and WhoReallyGivesAFuck. According to Sgt. Rice my line scores were all over 100 so in your face everyone who doubted my non-retardedness.